STRONGHOLD

I'm in the midst of a Beth Moore Bible study right now on the life of David. A couple of weeks ago Beth explained a "stronghold". In Biblical times, a stronghold was "a well-fortified place or a fortress".

David now stayed in the strongholds of the wilderness and in the hill country of Ziph. Saul hunted him day after day, but God didn’t let Saul find him. 1 Samuel 23:14

Obviously we don't live in Biblical times. We don't have a crazy-man like Saul trying to hunt us down. Well...at least I hope you don't. Anyway...Beth explained that although we don't live in those times, we do have strongholds in our lives. In this day and age, a stronghold for us is anything that causes our minds to obsess and take the place of God. It can become a hiding place for us. This could amount to countless numbers of things in our lives...to many for me to even begin to list.

A few weeks ago I read something that has me in a "stronghold". This is something that has always made me uncomfortable but now, after reading about it, I have been stressing over it to the point that it is actually keeping me awake at night. I'm not going to tell you what it is because...well...I fear you would find me to be a little "coo-coo for CoCo Puffs", if you know what I mean!

For the most-part, during the day I can shake it. It pops into my head periodically but I'm busy enough with other things that it doesn't have as much control over me. At night, however, when my head hits that pillow...there it is again!

I have been praying for God to release me from this stronghold. Begging him, actually. Pleading with him that he push out the thoughts of this and to allow his peace to flow through me. I'm beginning to think that his answer to me is, "Trust me."

So that's what I'm trying to do.

Trust him. Trust him. Trust him. Trust him. Trust him. Trust him.

I think you get the picture. I'm need to trust him.

Do you have or have you ever had something that has become a stronghold in your life? Maybe it's something major. Maybe it's something too silly to mention. Whatever it is, it's no fun, is it? I hope you found a way to release yourself from it's grip...it's "strong hold"...to discover yourself at peace with whatever it is/was.

And speaking of peace....here's wishing you some...and blessings, too!
Jeanine

OUCH!

Life is funny.

Earlier this week I did something...nothing serious or life altering...that had God asking me, "Are you SURE you want to do this?"

I thought about it and said, "Yep...I do. I don't see anything harmful in it."

God said again, "Are you absolutely SURE?"

Yes...I was absolutely sure.

So I did it.

And yesterday it came back and bit me right square in the behind!

OUCH!!!!!

It was a lesson in humility.

The EXACT reason God was asking me if I was "sure" was the EXACT thing that bit me in the behind. And boy.did.it.hurt!

Remember...I said it wasn't anything serious or life altering...so it has actually made me giggle a little in my silliness and lack of listening skills.

Today God's voice is saying, (as he slowly shakes his head), "Jeanine, Jeanine, Jeanine...you are a silly, silly girl...but I love you anyway!"

Peace and blessings.
Jeanine

ONE PROUD MOMMA!

The last way I want this post to read is as a "brag" about my child. So please don't read it that way. I'm just a proud momma and I want to share with you why that is...if you don't mind.

Parker was given an opportunity through the youth group at church to do a "pay it forward" project. If a kid didn't want to participate, they didn't have to. It was optional. Parker wanted to participate so we told him we would help with it.

Matthew 25:40
"The King will reply, 'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'"

That's the premise of the project. Starting with $100 Parker had to chose a way to use this money. He could decide to give it to charity, help a family, give it to a local organization...the choice was his. So we checked in with his principal at school and she gave us some options. Parker chose to help a local family who was going through some financial challenges right now. (We do not, nor do we want to know, who they are. Parker did not give them his name, either.)

Together we decided that he and I would go to local businesses to see if any of them would like to contribute to his starting amount of money, whether through a cash donation or a gift card, or whatever they felt they could do. We went out on Wednesday last week while he was on spring break. On Monday he presented a package to his principal for her to give to the family. The outside of the package simply read, "Matthew 25:40" and the contents of the package included the following:

* the original $100
* $50 gift card to the local grocery store
* a coupon for a free multi-point inspection at a local car dealership (includes inspect fluid levels, check steering, suspension, wiper blades, exhaust, undercarriage, belts and hoses)
* $50 fuel card to gas station
* $20 fuel card to gas station
* coupon for 5 cents off per gallon of gas at one of the gas stations
* 8 movie passes to our local theatre
* one free new release video rental at local video rental
* gift certificate for two large pizzas and pop at a local pizza place
* 50 gift certificate to another local pizza place
* 2 - $20 gift certificates for a locally own restaurant
* $25 gift certificate for a chain restaurant

The principal shared with me the following email message:

"The package has been delivered to the family and I wish I had a picture. One of the students stared at me with mouth open and was stunned. The 2nd student couldn't stop giggling with happiness and the parent had tears of joy."

I read the principal's email to Parker when he got home from school that afternoon. The grin on my sweet boy's face was ear-to-ear...and I gotta say, I had tears of joy, too...but tears of joy for my son's heart. He's a good boy. I hope this lesson of giving sticks with him from here on out...for it is better to give than to receive.

Peace and blessings.
Jeanine

UPDATE

So Friday I went to the oncologist with my mom and dad for my mom's first appointment. First of all...her doctor was hilarious! Certainly not what I expected from an oncologist...and I've met several. He was caring, comforting and put my mom, especially, very much at ease.

Now...her diagnosis. She has Follicular Lymphoma. It is incurable but slow moving. This type of cancer is not treated until it is necessary to treat it. For some people treatment doesn't come for several years. When the time does come to treat it with chemotherapy it will calm down the disease and then after a period of time the disease will most likely flare up again and chemo treatments will again be given. It is a manageable type of cancer. It is not a death sentence.

However, there are a couple of tests that will be done on Tuesday to determine if the disease is systemic (throughout her body) or localized (which is under her left arm). If the cancer is localized and is not throughout her body, then the cancer can be treated right away with radiation treatments. She will be having two tests done on Tuesday to make this determination. The first test is a PET scan where dye is run through her body and MRI-type imaging is done to scan her body. The results are 3-D images that show the doctors what the tissues and lymph nodes in her body look like. The second test is a bone marrow test and she's not looking forward to this one as it is painful. She will find out the results of these tests hopefully on Friday when she is scheduled to see the oncologist again.

Mom was so much more at ease when we left the doctor's office. Not knowing was almost worse than anything and she had waited almost two weeks from diagnosis to visiting with the oncologist. So much was explained to her and it was explained well. Now it's just one step at a time with these tests on Tuesday being the next step.

Thank you for your prayers and support for my mom and my family. One day at a time...one day at a time.

Peace and blessings.
Jeanine

NO JOKE!

April 1, 2011. I wish today was a joke...but it is not.

I will be joining my parents at my mom's first visit with the oncologist. This is the day we have been waiting for to get some answers to our question, "What's next?"

Mom and dad want one of us kids there with them and it's been agreed that I'm probably the best one to go. Not because my brother's don't want to go or that they would not be supportive or encouraging. They would be. No...it's rather the fact that I've done this before. I've sat in the chair next to the person who has cancer and listened to the treatment plans, asked the questions, and then witnessed the treatments. Five times I've sat in that chair.

Even though I would prefer that this was not part of my day today, it is. Our associate pastor told me the other night, "Jeanine...you need to go. You've been prepared for this."

Always words of wisdom from this man.

So...this will be my day. Please pray for my mom as she listens to the doctor answer, "What's next?" Pray for my dad that he will be prepared for, "What's next?" Pray for me so I understand what is said and can asked the questions that I have learned to ask.

Thanks. I know you've all got my back.

But for right now...I gotta go. Faith is waiting for me to come up with a "fool" on this first day of April for her to play on her daddy.

Peace and blessings.
Jeanine

IS THAT YOUR REAL ____________________?

Yesterday I was at Target.

I had just put a some of my favorite little International Coffee "treats of goodness" in my cart when I felt someone's eyes on me.

I discreetly glanced to my left to see a woman who looked to be in her sixties. She was eyeing me up. I had a feeling I knew what was coming.

Then she said, "Excuse me. But may I ask you a question?"

"Sure," I said.

Wait for it...wait for it...

She asked, "Is that your real hair color?"

Ahhhhhhh...there it is. That's exactly the question I thought she was going to ask. (Can you tell I've been asked this question a LOT?)

I responded, nodding my head, "Yes...it is."

"Oh," she said. "I was just wondering because I've just recently stopped coloring mine and let it go gray...but yours is so white!"

"Yes...yes it is. I stopped coloring shortly after turning 40. It was quite an adjustment for me."

She agreed and said it has been very difficult for her to be comfortable with her natural color. I told her that her hair was very pretty and that it looked nice. It did. I wasn't lying.

I wasn't lying, either, when I said it's an adjustment. I certainly fought it for a long, long time. It came time to just let it go and be free! I still look in the mirror sometimes (okay...lots of times) and wish this wasn't so. But...

alas...it is.

See...


However, the plus-side is...

if Scott or the kids ever lose me in a crowd...I'm easy to spot!

Peace and blessings to your day!
Jeanine

"It"

In the past 19 years I've heard "it" said six times.

"It" was not said to me.

But "it" caused my heart to break.

"It" = "________ has cancer."

The first time I heard "it" I was 26 years old and Scott and I were engaged to be married. It was seven months before our wedding. The doctor came out of surgery and said, "Scott has cancer." I don't remember much of what the doctor said after that but it resulted in more surgery, the making of a prosthesis and prayer.

The second time I heard "it" I was 27 years old...and Scott and I were still engaged to be married. It was six weeks before our wedding. The doctor came out of surgery and said, "Scott has more cancer." This time I heard the doctor's explanation of how he was able to rebuild the area affected by the cancer, that chemotherapy would be necessary. The doctor said he was sorry.

The third time I heard "it" I was 33 years old. Our son, Parker, was four months old. The doctor came out and said, "I'm sorry...Parker has cancer." He told us the tumors were tiny...just barely getting started. He asked if we would allow him to treat the tumors with lasers. Our immediate answer was, "Yes...GO!" Then we sat together in the waiting room and cried. Within 30 minutes the doctor was back out to tell us that Parker's tumors had been destroyed. He would not need chemotherapy or radiation.

The fourth time I heard "it" said I was 37 years old. Our daughter, Faith, had made an early entrance into the world by arriving six weeks earlier than her due date. When she was just two days old the doctor came to me in the neonatal intensive care unit and said, "I'm so very sorry...but Faith has significant tumors. She has cancer." I remember screaming and falling to my knees while the nurse that accompanied the doctor quickly fell to her knees beside me to console with saying a word. I needed to call Scott. He needed to get to the hospital quickly. Someone would need to care for Parker, who was only four at the time. When Faith was four days old, weighing only five pounds, six ounces...she started the first of 11 months of chemotherapy treatments.

The fifth time I heard "it" said I was 41 years old. Scott had just had surgery to remove some benign tumors that his body now produces since his previous cancers and chemotherapy treatments. There was a small cyst on his back that was also removed at the same time. When the results of precautionary pathology tests were completed, the doctor said, "Scott, the tumors were benign. The cyst, however, was cancer." The best course of action for this particular type of cancer was surgery, which is what had been done. No chemotherapy or radiation treatments were necessary.

The sixth time I heard "it" said I am 45 years old. It was a week ago today. My mom called me and said, "The doctor called with my test results. I have cancer." The diagnosis is lymphoma, but we do not know yet what type of lymphoma. She has her first oncologist appointment a week from today. She will learn more then on whether-or-not she will need more tests, surgery, treatments, etc. She has a positive attitude. She said, "I've thought a lot about Scott and the kids and if they can do it, I can do it."

I really wish "it" would go away. For everyone. At some point in our lives, we've all heard "it" about someone we know...a family member, a friend, a co-worker. "It" is something we've all experienced one way or another.

In our stairway going upstairs in our home there is a photo of my three "it" survivors. Next to the photo is this framed poem:

What Cancer Cannot Take From You

It cannot take away your FAITH,
shatter your HOPE
or lessen your LOVE.
It cannot destroy true FRIENDSHIP,
invade the SOUL
or take away ETERNAL LIFE.
It cannot conquer your SPIRIT.

"It" has no power over God...the One who heals, who loves, who cries with us each time "it" is said. He has held our hands each and every time "it" is said. He is our strength when we are are week. He is our hope in the despairs of life. He is comfort during sorrow. Because He...IS.

And "IS" is so much better than "it."

Peace and blessings to your day.
Jeanine