OUTSIDE THE "IN" BOX

Lately I have found myself outside the "in" box.

Huh?

Are you confused? Yeah...I can do that to people sometimes.

Let me explain. The past couple of years, especially this year of 2010, I have decided to make better choices for myself. Those choices sometimes involve events I have been invited to or sometimes it involves the people at the event. Sometimes it involves relationships. History plays a big part in my decision making process. Have I experience this type of event before? How did I feel when it was over? Were there certain actions/conversations/activities that took place that I participated in and later regretted? How does this relationship make me feel? Do I need to let go for a while? Do I need to allow some space in this relationship for the other person to make decisions that do not involve me? Do I need to allow myself space in this relationship so I can make some decisions for myself?

In my attempt to make better choices for myself and to avoid drama, I have politely declined some of the events that I have been invited to. I have also had to take a few steps back in a couple of relationships in order for the relationship to have time to breathe and allow it to become healthy again. In doing all of this, I think I have been taken off some of the invite lists...whether it be an invitation to participate in an event or in a relationship. *gasp*

Hence the comment of being outside the "in" box.

I have to wonder if this is somewhat the idea of maturing in life? I know what works for me. To many things I can honestly say, "Thanks...but...been there, done that...no thank you...have a great time!" I don't have bow to peer pressure. And yes...peer pressure happens to adults, too. I know my comfort level. I know my weaknesses. I know when/where/why I will cave. I know what it feels like to be "burned" and I'm cautious not to let it happen again. I know that sometimes stepping away hurts...really bad. I know that I need to follow the advice I give to my children when I drop them at school in the mornings and say, "I love you! Make good choices!"

So...maybe I'm no longer "in" the "in box"...and that's okay. The box that holds that part of life is full. Taped up and put on the shelf. It might be time for a fresh, new box. One big enough to hold the adventures and relationships that await me during the next phase of the journey. I think it needs to be a really, Really, REALLY big box, though, and I cannot wait to see who decides to continue with me on the journey, who new might decide to join me...and what we decide to put in the box!

How about you? Wanna jump in my box?

Peace and blessings to your day!
Jeanine