CHANGES

So many of my favorite bloggers are writing about different changes they are making in their lives. I've been working on some, too, and thought maybe I'd share some of them. I have not been pleased with some of the choices I made in 2008. Some were thoughtless, careless, reckless...not things I would chalk up as my proudest moments. I'm sure God wouldn't chalk them up as pleasing to Him, either. So, after another less-than-stellar moment toward the end of 2008, I decided that enough was enough. It was time for change...physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

The physical issue is one that has just recently come into serious play. It was on my list, but I just couldn't get myself motivated. That's changed. God made me ready. I'm trying. My goal is to hit the treadmill daily...except for Sundays. I've also been eating breakfast every day and paying more attention to what I eat during the day. I have not had a soda (which is a HUGE weakness) since Wednesday last week. I've been drinking at least 100 ounces of water every day. So far I haven't even craved a can of Caffeine-Free Diet Coke. I have also given up alcohol. Wine and alcoholic beverages are biggies in our surroundings and my goal is to avoid them, especially around my children.

Mental and emotional changes sort of go hand-in-hand for me. I'm an emotional person...sensitive, easily frustrated, quick to blow a fuse, easy to tear up, etc. It's a broad range when talking about my emotions. There are issues in my life, regarding certain people, that have never been easy for me to deal with. Just when I think I can let go of the past and move on, something else happens, whether it be what's been said or done or not said or not done. It's a challenge for me. Although Scott is one I share my feelings with, it's my mom...and sometimes my dad...but mostly my mom...who are my confidante's when I feel like I'm going to explode! This is something I've been working on for a long time and continue to work on with each passing day.

Obviously when one has a less-than-stellar year of things to be proud of, spirituality is something that gets a serious view under the microscope! Although I can say that my spiritual life is better than it has ever been, it's something that is constantly new for me. I'm growing more and more every day. At least I hope I am...I hope God sees it that way. This year I'm taking a closer look at what I say, especially around my children. Trying to listen closer to what words I choose, what topics I discuss and don't discuss. It's also an area of my life that I'm branching out to things that revolve around daily life. We're all in lean times right now. Shopping...or rather...NOT shopping...is a challenge for me. Staying in, instead of going out-and-about is another REALLY difficult thing for me. I'm not one to just sit still for long. I like to see and do and experience...most of which is not always free! One of my favorite songs (thanks, Kim, for introducing me to it) is "Empty Me" by Jeremy Camp. A portion of the words are, "Holy fire, burn away, my desire for anything that is not of You, and is of me...I want more of You and less of me...." Anyway, it's become a prayer for me. One that I will use when shopping, exercising, choosing what to participate in and what not to participate in, what to say and not to say. You get the picture...

After typing all of this I wonder if I've set my expectations too high. I hope not. I know that by trusting and following God's plan and His lead that I cannot go wrong. I'm sure I'll slip up here and there in pretty much every area listed above. But God does not expect me to be perfect. That's why He sent His Son. What God asks of me is to be the best me I can be by following Him and trusting that He is always there for me and with me no matter what.

Peace.