DROPS LIKE STARS

It was August 2009. I had just dropped Parker off at his piano lesson and had 25 minutes before I was to pick him up again. As if on auto-pilot, I found myself heading straight for our church, all the while praying, "Please let him be there. Please let him be there."

I pulled into the church parking lot and realized I must have been holding my breath because suddenly I was able to breathe. The white truck was there. My prayer was answered. Pastor Matt was in the building!

Since I didn't have much time to spare, I entered church quickly, said a very cordial "hello" to the secretary and knocked on Matt's door (which is usually always open) and he welcomed me in. I quickly asked if he "had a minute" and if so, could I close the door? "Of course", was the answer to both questions.

Then I fell apart. Life, so it seemed, had grabbed me...my family...by the back of the neck, threw me down and nearly beat itself right out of me. I literally felt like there was nothing left in me or of me. Hope was gone. Faith...non-existent. The only person I could think to go at that moment was Pastor Matt. I don't really know if I necessarily NEEDED anything from him other than for him to listen. Which is exactly what he did. As I sat in the chair across from him at his desk, I cried...hard. I spilled it all and he listened.

But time was short. I needed to pick up Parker from piano. In a matter of seconds, I needed to pull it together...to somehow, between church and piano, make it look like I had not been crying...much less sobbing. I didn't want Parker to see me this upset and cause him worry, too.

A few weeks later, the doorbell rang and I opened the door to find Pastor Matt. He had a book in his hand and two bars of soap. The book was written by Rob Bell...the Founding Pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church in Grandville, Michigan. I knew about Rob Bell because he also does awesome videos that Matt has used during his Sunday messages. They are beyond captivating. But, I digress. Back to the book.

Matt said the book, titled, "Drops Like Stars", was a quick and easy read. When he read it, he thought of Scott and me. He wanted to drop it off for us and we could take as much time as we needed with it. The bars of soap were part of the book.

This was enough to peak my interest and as soon as I had a quiet chunk of time, I sat down and read the book. Amazing. A.MAZ.ING!!!!! The book is about suffering and asks not the question, "Why this?" but rather "What now?" When I finished reading, I found that I was smiling. Smiling. Understanding. Believing that things were going to be okay.

The book is still in our bedroom. Well...as of right now it's sitting beside me on the desk...but still...you get the picture. It's five months later and we still have the book. It's because I'm waiting for my husband to read it. He does not like to read as much as I do. It's a vision issue for him so I try not to nag.

Yesterday, while cleaning off Scott's nightstand, I set the book aside so I could return it to Pastor Matt. It is time for him to have it back. But last night, after the kids went to bed and Scott was busy preparing material for a youth class he's teaching tonight, I went to our bedroom to wind down from the day. I was going to watch TV...which really wasn't that appealing to me, but it was too early to go to bed. Instead, I started looking for a book to read and decided to read again, "Drops Like Stars." It was even MORE amazing the second time!

"Suffering does that.
It compels us to eliminate the unnecessary, the trivial, the superficial.
There is greatness in you.
Courage. Desire. Integrity.
Virtue. Compassion.
Dignity. Loyalty. Love.
It's in there -
somewhere.
And sometimes
it takes suffering
to get at it.
It's in there."

If you get a chance...read this book. As for the two bars of soap...well...I'm not telling you. You need to read the book to find that out. But I will say, I can't wait to see what the Master has designed.

Oh...and Matt...thanks!

Peace.
Jeanine